I've thought long and hard about this. Here are the fruits of my labour ... my ultimate / ultimately lame party list !

Parties that I think deserve to exist:

- Fort parties, of any description.
- Dinner parties emulating the Beauty and the Beast "Be our guest" scene.
- Facebook suicide parties. It could start a revolution, Kool aid not necessary.
- Craft parties in general.
- A night terror themed party. Genius !
- Fuck retro themed parties, people should have futuristic themed parties, with robot costumes with cardboard boxes and tin foil.
- Fondue parties!
- Eccentric old people party - dress up like your favourite hero over 80.
- Parties involving pinatas. Especially when they are full of lewd items.
- Wearing your clothes backward party - because Kriss Kross is the man / men and those who know me well know that I am NOT ashamed that I once shaved two stripes in my eyebrow in devotion to him.
- Easter egg hunts. Any time of year that is.
- jeo-pardy !

Parties I think don't deserve to exist:

- "Getting ready parties". I loathe this concept even as much as I loathe putting on makeup.
- New years eve parties.
- Furnature assembling parties. Ikea furnature assembling parties, that is. If you call me up and ask if I can help assemble your 15th century wardrobe from antarctica, then we can talk.
- Spring cleaning parties.
- Anything involving UFC in any shape or form.
- Parties in hotel rooms. Unless its fuckin ballin and I'm drinking champagne with diamonds and wearing gold chains, platform shoes and have a cane.
- Anything involving green beer. Really this entire list is garbage because when it really comes down to the wire, I can get down with any excuse to get hammered and act a damn fool, but this one I feel really passionate about. If a dude seriously dame up to me with a green beer and expected me to take him remotely seriously please believe me I would throw it directly in his face.
- Baby showers and Barmitzva's. KIDDING !

Happy St. Patricks day bitches !