Throwing fridges off cliffs is sOoOoOo fun !

The food industry produces over 5 times the volume of the most energy intensive manufacturing industry – iron and steel. The problem isn’t just limited to ‘food miles’ or pesticides. It starts with the manufacturing of the fertilizer for soil to the drive home from the grocery store. The energy used to get food on the table is often exponentially greater than the caloric value of the food itself. Now, we don’t necessarily need to drive SUV’s, throw refrigerators off cliffs for entertainment, or wear gold chains. But we need to eat. It is possible to reduce the appalling carbon footprint caused by the food industry. We just have to not be douche bags about it, is all.

We can’t rely on the supermarkets and industrial farms to do the work for us. In order to remain competitive and prosperous, large companies will always take the path of least resistance, which means the path of destructive carbon footprints. Burning fossil fuels and using pesticides is infinitely cheaper and convenient than using human labour. Modern economy makes climate change difficult to fight – convenience is often no match for sustainability.

Here are some ways to reduce your environmental douche baggery !

- Buy local food and save the emissions from transport. Food produced for commerical grocery stores is shipped long, and increasing distances. Our incredible dependancy when it comes to food means huge amounts of emissions from transport. Think of the transport of frozen goods. Trucks have to keep frozen food frozen for huge amounts of time on the road. Locally grown food has more nutrients and tastes a lot better than a garbanzo bean that has been rolling around the bottom of a truck or airplane for days on end.

- Buy organic food. (I understand the nauseating fact that organic food is just so fucking trendy. But I can’t deny that the agricultural use of pesticides has a toxic effect on all life systems around it - the soil, the animals it comes in contact with, and the people who eat it.) In terms of the environment, the manufacturing of synthetic fertilizer uses natural gas as a raw material, resulting in carbon dioxide emissions in the process. Of course, its application in the field releases green house gases as well.

- Eat less animal products. Since the decline in coal mining, agricultural animals are the main source of methane production, a greenhouse gas emission that contributes to global warming. Not to mention that the lives of these creatures will be spared, and you will be healthier without consuming rotting carcases. You are what you eat.

- Avoid processed food. It is usually super packaged to the max in attempts to make it look appealing and advertise how low in fat and full of omega 3 fatty acids it is. Well guess what - chances are if you are buying food that is using pink and yellow bold sparkly font to advertise how full of awesome nutrients it is, it really isn’t so. Why? Because Bill Nye has pumped it full of radioactive goo to satisfy the eternally ‘health conscious’ consumer, fucking with the natural balance of nutrients. Sufficient nutrients are in real food. The lowly banana usually doesn’t grow on a tree with stickers to publicize its potassium- filled righteousness. Western demise! Don’t be a fool ! You can’t drink vitamin coca cola all day and not expect to get scurvy if you don’t drink your pine needle tea. Duh.

- Avoid supermarkets. They use ridiculous amounts of energy to chill / freeze food in open display coolers to make it look pretty so you’ll buy it. Buy into that? Maybe they are just trying to get high on hydrofluorocarbons as you walk by the produce. Use your noggin, fool. Not to mention the energy used to heat and light the supermarkets themselves, some of which are open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

- Compost. Give back food waste to the earth from which it came. It’s good to be alive.

These are just some suggestions that I read places. They are in no way vindictive of my personal opinions. I regularly catch racoons with my bare hands for my own personal consumption. But if you are at all interested in adopting an eco friendly lifestyle then for all means, follow these guidelines. You can just call me Maury Povich and give me a call if you need a mentor, tutor, or yogi of any persuasion. One love !