Friday, August. 28th

There are currently 7 people residing in my 4 bedroom apartment. This morning at 7 I woke up to my room mates phone alarm as it was charging in the hall. Our toilet broke this morning. Today was one of those days that seem to exemplify your whole life in its current state.

Macey and Kate just returned from 6 weeks in Europe, and seeing them again has been so good. I pretty much ran home last night to find Jen and laurel smoking on the balcony and urged them into getting ready so we could go to Nirvana to meet Macey. After some cookie eating, teeth brushing and a lot of excited yelling on my part, we managed to leave the house and make it to Nirvana for 10:30.

I was like a child, about to vomit from excitement.

Lately I’ve been feeling like things have been coming full circle. The end of the summer is getting close, and I can feel fall in the air. I love fall. As my hours at the Ultimate Cafe dwindle, and my trip to New York with Laurel and Jen (and Macey, if we can convince her) approaches, I can’t help but feel sort of introspective about the summer that is passing before my eyes like scenery outside a window from a train. At the start of the summer I was green with jealousy of Macey and Kate and their trips to Amsterdam and Berlin. I wanted to relive the previous summers trip we took together. I wanted to escape the city. That’s the point of summer, right?

Now, on August 28th, I can say I’m glad I stuck around. I got a lot done here. I read a lot, wrote a lot, painted, paid off some debt, and spent time with some radical souls. Sometimes staying in one place is just as enriching, challenging, and eye opening as the adventure. At the same time, I'm still really proud of my friends.

I had many “this city is so fucking beautiful!” moments this summer, particularly when I finished work at night and walked to King and Spadina, the streetcar stop at which has the best view of the skyline. It reminds me of my few trips to the city when I was really young. I was so riveted by the city, at once overwhelmed and impressed. And here I am now, a few years later, still overwhelmed an impressed. But now I have a better grasp of how to handle homeless people. And can drink in bars. But I still feel small in the city.

I’ve been listening to a lot of Tribe Called Quest lately. Particularly the song Excursions. I've been listening to it over and over again, which usually I am against. But this one I can’t help. There’s a line in it about how things go in cycles. That’s how I feel about this summer. Here I am, going back to school, getting ready to be focused and work toward a goal again.

I can't believe the summer is almost over. It seemed so long and looming to me in May, when I had a prospective 4 school-free months ahead of me. We see our future selves as entirely different people. I'm not so sure that we ever change though. Our toilets been fucked up this whole time at 322 Shaw st, people are generally in and out, come home and leave again, but I still feel the same through it all.